Sooo….

Normally, under a heading like that one, you’d expect to see lots of pictures of things – quilt blocks, flimsy’s, scrapbooking pages, something. I have pictures…but none that I am going to post for the world to see right this minute. Why not, you ask? Well…since you’re so stinkin’ nosey…I’ll tell you the honest truth:

Everything I’ve started this week has stunk, big time.

There are rainbow string blocks (sort of based on inspired by this tutorial and this awesome tutorial.) There are actually two versions of rainbow string blocks, one of which is a quilt as you go method which I was l o v i n g until I realized that three layers of flannel would smother anyone crazy cold enough to get under it. And the other version, which I just started last night, just looks…wrong, somehow. The too-flannel blocks all went together so well and looked exactly right. These new sets of blocks don’t have the same easy going nature, and they are really frustrating me.

In that second link up there, you’ll notice that instead of using a rainbow theme, she’s using a dark/light theme which looks incredible. So today I dumped out all of my scraps (which had been sorted according to color, for ease of sewing rainbow blocks, of course) and divided them into two piles: one light, one dark. A good blogger would have taken a picture of that, but since I was surrounded by a mother, a nine year old, a sister, a brother in law, a really loud tv and a stress headache, the camera was the last thing on my mind. After an hour of sorting I laid out some dark and light blocks to see if I’d like it, and guess what? I loathed and despised every inch. How that is possible, when someone else’s looked so good, is beyond me, but that’s the truth.

I did manage to cut out over 50 ten inch blocks to use as foundation pieces for whichever quilt I eventually decide to make, but now I’m wondering if that was a waste of time as well. Not only are my ideas turning into mud, but the fabric that I have tested seems to bunch and curl and basically misbehave at every opportunity, so it may not even be worth using!

The other main area of life I’m working on, besides sewing, is my fitness. I’ve gained and lost the same eleven pounds in the last two months and am seriously sick of it. I feel like I’ve set myself into this pattern of eating perfectly for three or four days, then totally sabotaging any healthy standards for the rest of the week. Why I’m doing this to myself, I honestly don’t know. I’d say it’s just plain laziness but it doesn’t feel like that – I spent three hours cooking and packaging good food the day before yesterday, only to find myself succumbing to peer pressure and having ice cream sundaes for dessert with the family. I don’t even like ice cream! The Greek yogurt was right there…and I just grabbed the thing closest to me, the ice cream. Why?

I have not worked out – no cardio, no weights – since Tuesday morning. I know the why to this one, but I don’t know how to fix it right away. I had a horrible panic attack/high anxiety moment (that lasted an hour and half) Tuesday morning while lifting. It was a really bad one; I ended up throwing up, spending the next two hours shivering in bed, and basically being miserable and scared to death for the next two days. So now I am afraid to get my heart rate up at all. And the weights are smirking at me and asking to be thrown outside. I have an unreasonable fear, which I have had before; I overcame it before by setting a goal of working out a few minutes at a time, every day, until I wasn’t afraid to sweat and feel my heart beat happily. This time around it’s not working that way. I have a mental block in the way, and don’t know how to get it to start inching over…so I am trying not to obsess, because that doesn’t help at all.

BUT I am all done whining about my week. Tomorrow is Friday, I am taking the kiddo bathing suit shopping and getting to see my parents and my Brookie B, so nothing can stink too bad on Fridays!

What about you guys? What are you working on? What’s frustrating you? What are your Fridays like?

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About messymama
I'm a SAHM with a busy schedule and a love of too many things to count! I sew, I write, I draw, and I love to create. I'm always on the lookout for a new project idea. One other very important thing about me - my house is in a continual state of upheaval and mess. Slowly but surely I'm working through the piles and boxes, but I am still in the process, and some days it seems like it would be much easier to pack up and move!

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