April 12, 2010 Leave a comment
Tonight I’ve been working on my art journal. And realizing that I am not quite the artist I would like to be, and also that my perfectionism is really holding me back in a lot of places in life, but that’s beside the point of this blog, at least for tonight.
I just wanted to post two of the phrases I am currently working on, both in my art journal and in real life. It’s hard to believe the first one and even harder to hold on to the second.
Love turns impossible dreams into reality
The peace can be fleeting, but it tastes so good in your mouth.
After I wrote them both I stared at them for a while.
Is it true that love turns impossible dreams into reality? Or does it just begin to whittle away and shape the dreams you once had to fit the reality you are in? For instance, in my childhood I pictured myself as a starving writer living in some tiny studio apartment with lots of easels and lots of sunlight. Slowly I have realized that my husband won’t let me starve and I’ll probably never have the hardwood floors and bright windows of my youthful dreams. And more importantly, the writing isn’t as important to me as I thought it would always be. The truth is, besides what I post here, there are very few remnants of that writer left in my life. Not because I lost the talent or ability – if anything, those things have only grown with the life and experiences I have had, and when I do sit down with pen and paper the hard part is stopping, because I have so much to say – but because the drive isn’t there anymore. Why write when I can teach and sing and love and cook and clean instead? So did the dream of becoming that accomplished and independent writer change, or did I force it to change to fit the life I have found? I once told a friend I would write ‘our’ story; now I have realized that all of my stories can’t add up to the happiness and fulfillment of my life, and they aren’t worth making someone else sad over.
And another dream I had was having no kids. I used to say I would never get married either. I wanted to be free of everything except the obligations that I wanted to have. I didn’t want to answer to anyone or be responsible for anything other than myself. Love did change that dream, into the exact opposite of what I thought I’d always wanted. So I guess…the answer is the quote can be true…Love really can change impossible dreams into reality by stomping them into oblivion and handing you something completely different.
And as for peace…the hardest part is enjoying it while it’s here rather than focusing on how soon it will be gone. It’s like eating your favorite, most decadent, top secret comfort food – every bite sends thrills of total joy up and down your spine, but on the other hand, every bite is one step closer to the end of the treat.
Well I suppose that’s enough of my deep thinking and awesome questioning skills. Although, it’s been awhile since anyone’s commented the blog. While I love the personal emails, it would be nice for visitors here to see that I actually do have readers!! So, if you want, share your thoughts about these two phrases…or any other quotes you like…or even what you put in your journal, art or otherwise.
I’m giving you free reign to post whatever you want people. Go ahead. You know you want to. 😉