I’m so tired

People think that working from home should be easy, that you should just fit it in in between naps and late lunches with your friends and maybe you could try folding a shirt or two or flicking a piece of dust off a shelf and you’re good to go.

Well, I am here to tell you, this is the worst misconception EVER!!

I worked so hard this week and last week that I feel like I’ve been running a marathon nonstop. We had Gracie’s monthly meeting with her teacher today – we were all caught up for once, but there is still that flurry of stress right before hand where we run around like crazy looking for things we misplaced three weeks ago that we need right this second. That was one stressful subject.

We are still in the process of getting my youngest sister and her husband moved (temporarily) into our house. In fact, they are on their way home with their last load as I type this. That’s been another stessor – both the actual moving process, as well as getting used to having them around and settled in.

We’ve been working like crazy in our yard to get stuff ready for spring, planting seeds and mowing lawns and trying to get organized with no real money to spend or new ideas on how to deal with not having a usable garage and needing that extra storage space especially with more people living here now.

On top of all of that, teaching and the regular housework and then spring cleaning, I also have two jobs. Yes, they are technically jobs where I stay home and do the same thing that I’d be doing anyway, but the truth is, having someone else’s kids in your care prevents you from doing a lot of what you would normally be doing. I take care of an 18 month old girl, an 8 year old and a 9 year old. Everyday I have to go to the school to pick the 9 year old up, which throws me all of out of whack, and I have to make sure homework and snacks and outside play time get taken care of, all while dealing with the smartest, craziest, most rebellious toddler ever born. All of the other stress in life barely measures up to just half of the stress of being stuck at home with all of these kids and responsibilities!

AND, we had the exterminators out here yesterday – it’s going to cost almost $500 to get rid of the fleas in our yard and living room! I’m so annoyed by the whole thing. But I do want them gone, asap, so I’m glad it shouldn’t take too long.

On a different note, I am still discovering different ways that my unfortunate decisions of a few years ago are affecting my present situation. I was dragged (coerced and ordered and demanded to be present) to a baby shower of the weekend. It turned out to be fun, but considering the people involved and the family dynamic and the utter strangeness of things that have happened, it was an uncomfortable situation that I would have been much happier avoiding. On the one hand, it was depressing to think about; I actually caught myself wondering about different things that might have happened, and just wondering in general. On the other hand, I was really irritated to know that someone I had trusted had broken a huge confidence and talked about things that should never have been talked about. There were some uncomfortable questions and I ended up getting really angry, but handled everything the best I could. It was probably worth it, because if nothing else I know now that my uncle and aunt always have my back no matter how many traitors open their mouths, but I still wish the whole stupid thing would just go away. You know?

Crafting wise, I have been dragging my feet. I lost my art journal yesterday and don’t really care about finding it right now, because I am at a creative block. I have been cutting out quilt pieces like crazy today and having a good time with it, because it’s not actually work and I can do it while the kids are eating or reading or writing on my walls or whatever.

Well I really think that I may go eat a sandwhich or something and then go to bed. It’s not even 7 yet but I am so stinking tired and stressed that I might have to give in and give up for the day!!

What about you? What have you been doing lately? How many traitors with big mouths do you wish you’d never met? And are they really traitors, or is just that you don’t deal with the fact that you were wrong for letting the situation get out of control? Share your thoughts, misery, gripes, or whatever you want…I promise tomorrow’s blog will be happier and have a picture!!!

~BB

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About messymama
I'm a SAHM with a busy schedule and a love of too many things to count! I sew, I write, I draw, and I love to create. I'm always on the lookout for a new project idea. One other very important thing about me - my house is in a continual state of upheaval and mess. Slowly but surely I'm working through the piles and boxes, but I am still in the process, and some days it seems like it would be much easier to pack up and move!

4 Responses to I’m so tired

  1. sheasa says:

    Oh hon! I am so sorry you are slammed. If I lived closer I would bring brownies and uppers. 🙂 I am also busy…just a bit. I have full time school and tons of writing for this project, the kids, a heap of new baby chicks, the driving here and there, the caravan to renovate, a trip to Yosemite this next week, then San Fran. I just smoke a lot of pot..LOL, kidding ;)I miss you on the internet. We shut ours off because I felt it was a bad influence in the house. Now that it is gone we spend way more time with the kids and are getting closer to our friends when not relying on social networking sites to keep us in touch. Anyhows, I miss ya!!! Give Gracie and Frankie my love. Hope to see all those babies soon. When is Katie having one???? xoxoxo

  2. messymama says:

    I didn’t even see your comment until just now! Yours go through automatically, I don’t have to approve them, so sometimes they sneak by me.

    I miss you online too!! I know it’s better to stay in touch face to face, but it’s hard to do that when we live far apart and I really miss you.

    The caravan looks so cool. And all of your trips – how exciting!

    Brownies, uppers and pot all in the same comment…hmmm…are you reliving my teenage years?! lol! I am managing a lot better this week than I was last week. Things are cooling off in some areas of life and I found some more me time so I am better. Love you and miss you bunches!!

    • dreamingwideawake says:

      We need to start our weekend hang outs again this summer. I need a gal pal. I have lots of mommy friends down here, but somehow you are much more special 🙂 We are leaving for Sn Fran tomorrow, so I already have anxiety about the drive, and Lane is bitching about missing the gym…LOL. Oh life! xoxo

  3. messymama says:

    Poor Lane!! It must be so sad to actually LIKE working out…hehehe…just kidding!!

    Of course I’m special. It took you…lemme count…almost 16 years to figure that out??!! (OMG, we are getting to be OLD LADIES. Get the lasers out, down with wrinkles!) But I know what you mean. There are friends, and then there are your true friends…like Anne Shirley and Diana Barry, bosom companions to the very end. 😉 Love you girl!! Have fun in Frisco, watch out for your mama’s bible (lol) and kiss the kiddos for us!

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