Well thank you very much!

I was just informed by my husband that my eating habits suck more now than they have the entire time we’ve been married.

I told him what he could do with himself, since I wouldn’t be doing it with him anytime soon, and went to my sewing room. I didn’t come out until he went to bed. This was good for more than one reason – not only did I get to ignore him, I finished a messenger style bag (pics soon) and began planning a skirt to make for this weekend.

But then I felt bad because the truth is, he’s right. Yesterday I almost passed out from not eating, which wouldn’t be bad, except I did it today too, which means it’s becoming a habit.

The worst thing about being pregnant was I learned I can NOT eat for four or five months and I’ll still survive. Somehow my brain has never been the same about food ever since, and it wasn’t all that healthy to begin with. Part of the reason I chose the antidepressent I take is because it’s also a known treatment for anorexia and ednos (eating disorder not otherwise specified) which are the two things I variate between. People think you can’t be fat and have an eating disorder, but they are wrong.

So anyway, tomorrow after fabric shopping, I’m going grocery shopping and I plan on eating better. I don’t know what triggered things this time around, probably the anxiety over the stuff I’ve been dealing with, but now that that’s under control I’m ready to get every else under control too.

BTW, I do plan on posting pics from our Sunday trip to the coast but so far I’ve been too exhausted to care about it yet, lol.

ETA: Okay, it’s almost a year later (June 30, 2010) and I am trying to clean up this blog site. I came across this post and am so surprised to read it. Last week I was told I have something called EDNOS – eating disorder not otherwise specified. It’s funny (in an ironic and bitter way) to look back at words I wrote about the subject that’s still on my mind all these days later. I always thought I couldn’t have any kind of an eating disorder because I am fat. Turns out, I am fat BECAUSE of the disorder, and anyone can have one – fat or skinny. A lot to think about.


About messymama
I'm a SAHM with a busy schedule and a love of too many things to count! I sew, I write, I draw, and I love to create. I'm always on the lookout for a new project idea. One other very important thing about me - my house is in a continual state of upheaval and mess. Slowly but surely I'm working through the piles and boxes, but I am still in the process, and some days it seems like it would be much easier to pack up and move!

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