Can’t stop to blog right now…

Okay, things are awfully quiet and boring around this blog lately, I know. There are several things I have on my camera that I need to upload here and blog about, including an entire bedroom redo with a stacked coin quilt and wall hanging…but right now, life’s not so good for our family, so blogging and cameras and even sewing have been put aside in favor of simply surviving.

When I was 9 my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. Less than a year later she passed away and life as I knew it ended.

Last Thursday we got a phone call from my mother in law. I try to keep this blog impersonal, so for that reason you guys haven’t ever heard much about my family, but my MIL is pretty much my hero and one of my best friends in the universe. She has been a huge part of my life since even before I married my husband, and without her I don’t know where I’d be right now. After we were married my husband and I lived in the same house as my in-laws for about six years, and if I had my way, we’d live with them again, that’s how much I love and appreciate them both, but my mom especially. She’s seriously my best friend, and that phone call ended life for me as I know it.

She has lung cancer. She quit smoking 18 months ago, and now she’s got cancer. I’m angry as hell and scared to death and more than anything I’m so confused about how I feel that I can’t even really react to anything right now.

They are going to do surgery either this week or next and take out between a third and a half of her right lung. Well, they are going to attempt the surgery; if the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes, they will have to stop, but there’s no way to tell if it’s spread until they open her up and look.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that one of my favorite people and a huge part of our family is really ill and life is really hard right now.

I want to blog, I want to create, I want to forget…but I also don’t want to go back to my usual way of dealing with things. I feel like I’ve finally got my life under control and my disorders aren’t ruling me right now; I’m even eating again, that’s how good things are going, and I’m terrified of losing all of it over this. So in the end, I don’t know what to do, but I don’t know what NOT to do either…

All I know is I may not be here as much for the next little bit and that I will miss blogland. Updates coming soon.

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About messymama
I'm a SAHM with a busy schedule and a love of too many things to count! I sew, I write, I draw, and I love to create. I'm always on the lookout for a new project idea. One other very important thing about me - my house is in a continual state of upheaval and mess. Slowly but surely I'm working through the piles and boxes, but I am still in the process, and some days it seems like it would be much easier to pack up and move!

5 Responses to Can’t stop to blog right now…

  1. Pingback: Can’t stop to blog right now… — Quit Smoking

  2. […] post: Can’t stop to blog right now… (No Ratings Yet)  Loading … Insider tips to your inbox.Join thousands of weeklyreaders. […]
    P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!

  3. Sheasa says:

    I am so sorry! I hope that they caught it in time. Cancer is such a devastating thing. Let me know if you guys need anything at all! I’m sorry I didn’t write sooner, we took off for the mountains all weekend….(still cold up there). Call if you need to talk, ok??? xoxo

  4. messymama says:

    Aw, thanks for the support sweetie! We will hopefully find out tomorrow when she gets to go in for the surgery. Until then it’s just kinda pins and needles, ugh.

    I was at your blog reading about your upcoming adventures – OMG, HAWAII??? Congrats!!!!!!!

  5. srkenney says:

    Hey, MAN o MAN, was that thunder and lightening amazing or what??? I was hoping you guys were still alive up there. Lane thought the Chinese had finally decided to take over the US. Holy moly. Well, we are out of power still, and they say it could be a week before getting it back. I would just leave to go to So Cal early, but my boss has a stalker that is flipping us all out and needs me in the office for company and to cover for Ari who is going to Italy for a month. So, I have no power, no water etc for God knows how long. Sigh…Well, Hawaii will be well deserved after all this. I am looking forward to going to Amish country even more. Have you been? Miss ya!!!!

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