So here’s my weekend in a nutshell:
April 27, 2009 Leave a comment
Saturday morning, I don’t wake up. I don’t mean I don’t wake up early, I don’t mean I sleep through dozens of important things I had to do including meeting my friends for plans we’d made the Saturday before…I mean I literally don’t wake up until nearly noon. Why? Who knows. The point is, I woke up in a frantic panic because I’d (stupidly) invited long-lost friends over for a bbq at 2 and my house was still a mess. To add to that I still had to get groceries for said bbq. I was a mess!
Thankfully my little house is just that, little, and even better, full of great hiding places. It didn’t even take an entire hour to get it looking perfect. (Just don’t open any cupboards or closets, I still haven’t cleaned them back out.) Then I ran through and sprayed cleaning spray on every surface and wiped it down so the place would at least smell chemically clean. It worked. I even remembered the light switches. But then I got distracted trying to decide if I think that homemade and organic cleaners will really be as good at disinfecting as 409 or bleach and I lost track of time. Luckily, while I was debating the effects of chemicals on my lungs versus the thought of catching the dreaded Swine Flu, I got a text from my friend saying she was running an hour behind, so I was thrilled.
I went to the grocery store to get stuff for lunch and while I was trolling the aisles in my highest speed I realized our cabinets and fridge were literally bare. So I started randomly throwing stuff in the basket and hoping we needed it. I only messed up twice – I bought a new bag of potatoes when we already had a full one, and I forgot the hubby’s sour cream. But I did come in under budget, so he can’t complain too much, right?
The bbq was fun. Hubby picked out some awesome steak and we had lots of good food. The only reason I had the come over was really cute too – he’s three months old and so adorable! Plus I got the chance to show off my house and sewing skills (they loved the quilts I make) and I was also able to do my favorite thing in life – ask inappropriately personal questions and get them answered! (Must be the deprived writer in me who looks for the worst details and secrets and demands more explanation. Luckily I’m funny and people don’t seem to mind telling me things. I guess I shoulda been a therapist, probably woulda made more money that way, huh?)
So after that, I fell asleep at 1 AM and again overslept on Sunday morning. We made it to half of our commitments and were home again with a sick kid at 11. We spent the rest of the day arguing. This is me:
“She has swine flu. I know it. Let’s take her to the doctor. I should have used more bleach!”
Him: “She doesn’t even have a fever. It’s probably a sinus infection like you said yesterday before you heard of the swine flu. Stop being so dramatic. And the bleach stinks.”
Now I’m getting mad: “If she drops dead because she’s got swine flu, I’m suing you for negligence, just so you know. And I know the bleach stinks, I should be using vinegar and baking soda and flowers!”
Him: “You’re here too, you can’t sue just me, what are you gonna do, sue us both? And look at her, she’s drinking her juice and running around in the sun, I doubt she’s dropping anything anytime soon. Wait, there goes her juice…okay, that’s all she’s dropping. And I don’t think you can seriously clean with vinegar and flowers so stop obsessing about it.”
Me: “I wouldn’t sue you anyway, you don’t have anything that would cover the court costs. And I googled it, you can too clean that way.”
Him: “Are you done with the swine flu thing now?”
Me: thinking really hard: “Maybe. Probably not, but I could be. But I’m not sure so don’t think this is settled.”
Things went on that way until he went outside to clean the garage and I started looking up ways to lose weight and hold my boobs down while I work out.
Fun stuff, right? You know you had a better weekend…come tell me all about it. And if you know how to get rid of big boobs that you hate, let me know that too, okay?